Hi, dear family and friends –
As you may remember, I had a prophylactic (not medically necessary) mastectomy September 12 and was excitedly getting ready for Guerino and Elsie to arrive from Haiti – followed by 42 people from 18 countries—for two weeks. We had a wonderful time at our annual staff conference in the mountains of Arizona. I thanked my colleagues profusely for their prayers during this tough year with breast cancer and proclaimed it a thing of the past. I really did have a wonderful and FUN time with everyone, and it felt so good to be back to “normal”—including some normal responsibilities.
Unfortunately, “normal” was short-lived, if “normal” means cancer-free. (Apparently, it does not right now!) On Monday, October 27, we were home from the conference, but my right side was hurting badly. We went to Urgent Care and then to the ER. The initial diagnosis was gall stones or appendicitis. An ultra-sound did find gall stones, but it also found many lesions in my liver that looked like breast cancer that had metastized, or moved, to the liver. We made an appointment to see my surgeon the next day, and he was shocked. My breast cancer had been classified as Stage One, Lymph Node Negative only a few months earlier, and my blood work had been normal! He sent me for more blood work (which again showed elevated liver enzymes), a PT scan, and a liver biopsy. Ugh. I have now had 37 invasive/technical procedures since March 4. And, the cancer is now classified as Stage Four (moved to distant organ).
Today, November 11, we saw my oncologist to review the results and make a plan. She, too, was shocked—but has a plan and some good news and bad news. The good news is that the liver is the only organ that shows the metastatic disease. (I already knew that the biopsy showed metastatic diseasse in the liver, but I had not asked about the PT scan results, not wanting to know if it had spread to other organs before a long weekend.) I was quite relieved. I was also glad to see that, of the slice they took, the rate of multiplication was mild to moderate. That’s not the whole story, though, because my liver is really full of interconnected stuff (not necessarily all cancerous) that has almost “replaced the liver,” according to one report.
Further good and bad news: This is “incurable” but “very treatable.” I knew that people are reluctant to use the word “cured” for even Stage One cancer. It’s “smart,” the oncologist said. If we kill it successfully in one spot, we have to watch the other spots for recurrence (brain, lungs, bone). It’s “very treatable” because there is so much breast cancer research. If I don’t respond well, there are other chemo applications to try.
I will begin oral chemo on or about Thursday, November 13, if I can get a flu shot and get my teeth deep-cleaned before then. I can take this chemo at home—just swallowing pills. It will not involve or affect the liver. I take the meds for two weeks and then rest a week—and see the oncologist and get more blood work. About 40% of the patients on this drug respond positively to it. It shrinks and kills the tumors. (That’s my prayer. I am very aware that I have an enemy!)
How do I feel? Not too great, really. I asked the oncologist why I have been so tired. “It’s the cancer,” she said. I have also had quite a bit of pain, from my port (which I am glad I have), to the tissue expanders that will just have to wait, to the swollen liver, maybe to the gall bladder, and to the bowels. I am on a very boring diet to make sure that the gall bladder stays calm. I am also tired because almost all meds make me tired. I’m trying to learn how to space them just right.
How is Jack? He’s been wonderful to me. He’s been pretty upbeat, waiting for news. Today, he said he wanted to cry in the oncologist’s office. He didn’t realize until then that this is now part of our lives forever. Though our faith is strong, we can’t just decide that it is behind us. We will need to be very diligent. The oncologist is our friend for life. Jack also realized how much I’ve been hurting, and you know what that does to marshmallows!
How are the kids? They are champs! Of course, they are worried and hurting, but Heather and Dave drove 200 miles the first two days to help out and Toby brought me a dozen roses and came over, too. Heather and Dave have also offered to start up a blog. I’m low on energy, so that sounds fine. I didn’t want to do that at first because I know my colleagues in some other countries have a hard time accessing blogs, but I am going to ask our Harvest office team to copy that week’s info and put it in our weekly report to each other.
How is Harvest? Very encouraging and wanting to help. I am requesting to work at home. I need to keep my employer-related health coverage—and it does feel good to get my hands and head on work—but I don’t think I can drive and drag myself in when on chemo or painkillers. I didn’t see “chemobrain” listed as one of the side effects for this new drug, so maybe I can surprise myself with some good productivity.
How are my other family and friends? Amazing! I have some strong prayer warriors. I have lovely flowers from Joe and Dawn and sweet phone messages and visits from several. Chad came over with a state-of-the-art juicer and organic carrots and spent an afternoon making yummy juice to combat cancer. Some of you have been sending the most encouraging notes! How could I ever thank you? It’s funny, but I cry at messages of hope. If you make me cry, it’s good J.
Where is our faith in all this? I don’t know how anyone could go through this without the Lord. He is my comfort. I’m disappointed that this happened, but my enemy is cancer, not God. I covet your prayers! We always take the first day of our staff conference for a day of prayer and fasting. I came out with many thoughts, including these two:
(1) Reconstruction is more than physical. (I knew I was facing physical reconstruction, switching tissue expanders to implants.) I am undergoing “reconstruction” in a vast way.
(2) I see our situation in Isaiah 43 (which has been confirmed by others):
“Feat not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…”
I love you all!
Karla
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